Italian American Slang

WARNING This text contains vulgarities and foul language. If you are offended by such speech-acts, please refrain from reading any further. I received this text from a friend and I could not resist performing a linguistic analysis. The comments in the sidebar are mine.
Let's start at the beginning. Come stai? Molto bene. Bon giorno Ciao. Arrivederci. Every Italian from Italy knows these words and every Italian-American should.	IT buon giorno = good day
But what about the goomba? Those words and phrases that are a little Italian, a little American, and a little slang. Words every paesano and Bacciagaloop has heard, words we hear throughout our Little Italy neighborhoods of New York and New Jersey.	IT compare = buddy Fellow townsman. From paese = town Bacigaluppo a common last name from the Piedmont region in Northern Italy. Probably it means "Northern Italian" and since this slang is clearly the products of immigrants from the South, most likely Bacciagaloop was an insult like dumb or idiot.
This form of language, the "Goomba-Italiano" has been used for generations. It's not gangster slang terms like "whack" or "vig", if that's what you are thinking---nope, this is real Guido tawk !	I strongly object to the use of the term "Guido." I think it is racist and derogatory. I object even more strongly when Italian Americans use it
The goomba says ciao when he arrives or leaves. He says Madonna Mia anytime emotion is needed in any given situation. Mannaggia	IT male ne abbia, in dialect male ne aggia = may he have evil or may evil have him
meengya	From Sicilian minchia = the male genital organ. Equivalent to a four-letter word to express anything from surprise to anger to admiration. (Curiously, it is a FEMININE word.)
oofah,	Uffa = sigh. when you are bored, exasperated or annoyed
and of course, va fongool can also be used.	From IT "vai a fare in culo," or, in the spelling of Pier Paolo Pasolini "vaffanculo" = go get f…. in the ass.
Capeesh?	IT capisci = do you understand, or "you know what I mean?"
He uses a mopeen to wipe his hands in the cuchina, gets agita from the gravy (SAUCE to the NJ gang)	moppina = from mop, towel IT cucina =, kitchen IT acidita' = acidity. It also suggests a state of "agitation, restlessness" that comes from an upset stomach - maybe with psychological implications.
and will shkeeve ( meatballs unless they are homemade from the famiglia. )	IT schifo = disgust, here used as a verb, to shkeeve.
Always foonah ( your bread in the pot of gravy (sauce ) or you will be considered a real coogootz or a Mezzo-finookio.	foonah: IT "affondare"= to sink, to dunk. In dialect it becomes 'affunnah', further shortened into 'foonah' IT cucuzza = pumpkin, polysemic word indicating a blockhead, or in other contexts money etc. IT finocchio = fennel. Derogatory for homosexual. Mezzo finocchio = half fennel, sissy
There are usually plenty of mamalukes	IT Mamalucco, originally Arabic for "slave" then the name of a Northern African militia that fought the Crusaders. In Italian it stands for dumb and dumber. Probably it entered Italian lexicon during the Middle Ages.
and the girl from the neighborhood with the reputation is a facia-bruta, puttana or a skifosa.	IT faccia brutta = ugly face Puttana = whore IT schifosa= disgusting one, i.e. whore.
If you are called gattiv, cabbadost,	IT cattivo = mean capatosta = dialect for hardheaded
sfatcheem, stupido or	sfatcheem: dialect word that literally means "sperm." To call someone a sfatcheem is actually a compliment as it means slick, smart, cunning individual (son of a gun.)
strunz , you are usually a pain in the ass.	IT stronzo = turd, i.e. asshole, jerk.
A crazy diavlo can give you the malokya but that red horn (contra malokya) will protect you if you use it right.	IT diavolo, = devil from malocchio = evil eye
Don't forget to always say per favore (please) and grazia and prego	IT grazie = thank you IT prego = you are welcome, lit. "I pray you"
If you are feeling mooshadd, stoonad or mezzo-morto (half dead),	IT ammosciato = groggy, slumpy or deflated like a flat tire. Stonato: this must be originally from STONED, whose sound suggested the Italian STONATO. In IT stonato means, tone deaf, and more precisely someone who sings off key = the mixture of the two indicates someone who's not totally there.
always head to Nonna's and she will fix you up with a little homemade manicott' , cavadell' (cavatelli, homemade type of pasta), or calamar ' (calamari = squid), or some ricotta cheesecake.	manicotti, in IT cannelloni. "Manica" means sleave. IT cavatelli, a type of homemade pasta
Mangia (eat) some zeppoles, canollis, torrone, struffoli,	correct spelling is "cannoli"
shfoolyadell', pignoli cookies,	IT sfogliatelle: philo dough pastries with cheese
or a little nutella on pannetone .	Nutella was launched in Italy in the '60. ItAm language keeps up! IT panettone, typical Christmas cake from Milano. How did it get in here?
Delizioso! I think I will fix myself a sangweech of cabagol ' with some	sandwich IT capocollo, salami typical of Calabria
proshoot	IT prosciutto
and moozarell' or maybe just a hot slice of peetza (no way, pizza is pizza.)	mozzarella peetza?????? No way, pizza is pizza
So salud ' if you have any Italian blood in you and you understood anything written here! .	IT salute = health, i.e. cheers.
Then, you are numero uno (number one) and a professore of the goombas
If you don't get any of this, then fa Nabola	It literally means "do the Neapolitan way" i.e. the same as va fongool (go get fucked in the ass) The interesting thing is that in Italy we do not have expressions to suggest sodomitic proclivities on the part of Neapolitans. Not that I know of, at least. It must be peculiar to It-Am.
with the whole thing and you are a disgraziato.	Etymologically: "outside the grace of god", irresponsible, good for nothing.
Scuzi, mia dispiachay. I didn't mean that....... !.......	Scusi = sorry IT mi dispiace = sorry
Just...... fugheddaboudit	... and you should know what this means.