ALMERINI, SENECA, CASTELLUCCI:

THE UPPER CLASS LOOKS (DOWN)

AT THE IMMIGRANTS

 

 

Doctor Achille Almerini,[1] ear, nose and throat specialist; graduated from medical school in Italy and moved to New York where he opened a successful practice with mostly Italian clients. With a difficult personality, always complaining and grumpy, he left America three or four times and finally returned to Italy where he concluded his life. His was the typical example of the chronic unhappiness that grabs many immigrants who, while they are in America are nostalgic for Italy; but as soon as they go back they realize they can’t do without America which, in the meantime, has become a sort of addiction.

Like most of the people in his social class he was not satisfied with fare l’America. He was struck by the coarseness and ignorance of the former cafoni, but mostly by their vanity after they had made money or achieved some measure of success.

The nationalist undertone of those times can be read in a couple of his sonnets.

 

L’italianità coloniale

 

È una cosa piuttosto complicata:

Consiste soprattutto nella pratica

Di porger l’altra guancia o l’altra natica

S’uno ti dà un ceffone o una pedata.

Non guasta aver la casa mobiliata

D’una Victrola o una pianola asmatica

Sui cui suonare, come di prammatica

L’inno fascista di qualche serenata.

Se un giuda purchessia torna d’Italia

Decantando il Vesuvio e i maccheroni

Fondigli un busto o almeno una medaglia.

Ma se chiede: “Perché non t’insaponi?

Perché mandate qui tanta canaglia?”

Digli che sei paesano di Marconi.

 

II

Dante non serve: nessuno sa chi sia.

Cristoforo Colombo serve a poco,

Dopo ch’hanno scoperto in alto loco

Che un norvegese gli spianò la via.

Meglio Marconi! La radiofonia

È attaccaticcia come il vizio del gioco:

Con quella tu, sdraiato accanto al fuoco,

Ci hai gli sport, l’arte e la filosofia.

Ci hai tutto quel che vuoi. A udir Marconi

Resta di stucco il giuda purchessia:

Non basta più se tu non t’insaponi.

È convinto. Confonde i maccheroni,

Le vongole con la radiofonia;

Gee whiz! ma sono smart questi cafoni!

Colonial Italian-ness

 

The thing is complicated.

It consists mostly in offering

The other cheek or the other butt cheek

When one slaps or kicks you.

It also helps to have a house furnished

With a Victrola or an asthmatic keyboard

So you can play, as one should,

A fascist hymn and serenades.

If a giuda,[2] whoever he is, returns from Italy

Praising Vesuvio and maccheroni

Cast a bronze statue or at least a medal for him.

But if he asks, “Why don't you wash?[3]

Why do you send here so many criminals?”

Tell him you are a paesano of Marconi.

 

II

Dante is useless, nobody knows who he is.

Christopher Columbus is of little help

After the higher-ups discovered that

A Norwegian opened the way for him.

Marconi is better! Radiophony

Is sticky like a gambling addiction:

With it, laying down by the fire,

You get sports, art and philosophy.

Everything you want. When he hears Marconi

Even the giuda, whoever he is, is stunned:

It no longer matters if you don’t wash.

He is sold. He confuses maccheroni and

Clams with radiophony;

Gee whiz! Aren’t they smart, these cafoni!”

 

In other compositions we can read the irritation toward Americans who keep foreigners at bay; the antipathy toward Jewish competitors (regularly called giudei);[4] or the protest against prohibition that prevented Italians from drinking wine, as in the following Noah Got Drunk

 

LA SBORNIA DI NOÈ

 

Well, fin d’allora un proibizionista

C’era e fu Cam, che visto il padre brillo

 

E sbottonato, screamed… cacciò uno strillo,

Da far invidia a un prete metodista.

 

Sem e Giaphet, che s’erano provvista

La cantina, gli disser: “Sta tranquillo!

Keep quiet!” e appuntarono uno spillo

Dove le brache facean brutta vista

 

Quando Noè lo seppe, il giorno poi,

Chiamò Giafet e Sem, e disse: Bravi!

Sia benedetto chi uscirà da voi!

 

Ma quanto a Cam, sun of a gun, se i suoi

Nipoti gli somigliano siano schiavi

Vostri: sian waiters or elevator boys.”

NOAH GOT DRUNK

 

Well, since the beginning a prohibitionist
Existed and he was Ham, who, having seen his

 [ father drunk                  

And exposed, screamed…. He let out a scream

that could make a Methodist minister jealous.

 

Shem and Japheth who had filled up

The cellar, told him: “Calm down!

Keep quiet! and with a pin closed his pants

Where they were showing an ugly sight.

 

When Noah found out the next day,

He called Japheth and Shem and said: “Good!

Blessed will your descendants be!”

 

About Ham, sun of a gun, if his descendants

Look like him, let them be your slaves:

Let them be waiters or elevator boys!”

 

 

 

This piece is in standard Italian, not in lingo and not even slang. The Italian American lingo appears instead in his most famous sonnets, full of sarcasm, whose function is to ridicule the enriched cafone. Here is one where such character speaks:

 

* LEGENDA: the original Italian text contains vernacular terms and expressions. The English translation keeps the original terms in Italics.

 

 

 

Tengo lo storo in basso di città,
e quando vuoi puoi farmi il telefòno: e viemmi a trovare, ogni momento è buono:
mattina e sera il business mi tien l
à.
Distante,? Eh! Cento blocchi, non canzono:
ma la distanza a te che te ne
fà?
Don chèr, con tutte le comodità
di tutti i treni e i carri che ci sono.

Non è un gran trubel; basta che tu provi;

alla terza Avenù c’è l’oliveta:

prendi il treno e discendi in Aussonstritto,

fai quattro blocchi a destra e vedi scritto

fra l’andetèca e il rialestèta:

“Qui si parla italiano” e lì mi trovi.

 

 

 

I have a store in the lower city

And when you want you can make me telephone call:

Come by, anytime is good:

Morning and evening the business keeps me there.
Far? Eh! One hundred blocks, no kidding:

But the distance, what’s to you?

I don’t care with all the conveniences,

With all the trains and cars running around.

It’s not a big trouble; just try,;

On Third Avenue there is the elevated track:

Take the train and get off on Houston Street

Go four blocks to the right and you will see the sign

Between the undertaker and the real estate:

“Italian spoken here.” That’s where you’ll find me.

 

 

You see, in Italy, even if you have money

Chances are they don’t respect you at all:

In those small towns people

Know your business from A to Z.

Here, the more mortgage on the real estate

More easily you become prominent,

And more easily they make you president

Of the club, even if you are illiterate.

With the friendship of a big shot

Politician  bartender or lawyer

From Mister so-and-so you can become a boss;

Then they give you a banquet, the same way

In Italy they do for a senator

And they put you in the newspaper.

 

But sure, it takes time, I wrote you about that

(it’s better to say certain things up front):

Don’t believe that as soon as you get off the steamer

You can find dollars in the middle of the street.

 

Don’t be in a hurry to climb to the top:

Those who run don’t walk straight,

In business one starts quiet and slow,

From little, and only those who fertilize can reap the harvest.

America is not like back home:

Don’t be stingy because it looks bad

But if you can, try to save money.

 

Anyway, let me repeat it

Because it’s the most important thing:

First of all, learn English.

 

Hard? Not as much as you believe:

You are young, you will learn quickly:

Alright, that’s all, shut up, go home, get out of there!

(to a pest that gets in your way).

 

And when you can’t make sense of things,

You ask: What’s the matter? But if you see

A cute broad, you call her: lady:

And call mister even your best friend.

 

Learn you English, because if

You ask directions in Italian

To a shoeshine or at that fruit stand,

 

That guy, even if he is Piedmontese or Sicilian,

To show you he knows more than you,

He is going to answer: I do not understand.

 

V

Take a look at the others: the Germans, the scini

(yes, the giuda!) they know American:

If you content yourself to be Italian

Then speak like your neighbors speak.

 

New York was discovered by Verrazzano!

True: even children know that;

So if you hear someone call you guinea!

Ignore it, it’s a loafer or a bumpkin.

 

Don’t try to persuade him!

It’s useless. It will finish with that guy

Gives you a black eye or smashes your nose.

 

And keep in mind! When you get into a fight

Who takes the beating is wrong and who gives it

Is a smart fellow and everything is alright.

 

 

VI

By now it is an old and trite legend

That we here are a bunch of beggars:

The Irish, we know, they are the bosses,

They fan the flames out of their love for the pope.

 

You can’t get it out of their heads that in Rome1

There are brigands with flint guns.

Pity on them… they are colonialist,

They too have their blockheads!

 

What do we care? We worked so hard

To affirm our Italian-ness

So now, let’s make a monument to Dante!

 

Say hi to him for me! Oronzo2 would say

But in the colony, don’t get worked out about it!

If ideals are cheap, bronze is even more cheap.

 

 

1 Rome here stands for Italy (synecdoche.)

2 Oronzo: generic name, needed for rhyming.

 

 

 

 

Pasquale Seneca’s[5] (1890-1952) work was similar to Almerini’s , but instead of satirical verses he preferred a sort of jocular narrative. He was a teacher of Italian at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. Seneca took aim at the president of a fictional Italian association, in one of those colonial events where the main attraction was the vanity and ignorance of the immigrants who were trying to imitate the rituals of American society. Il Presidente Scoppetta[6] ovvero la Società della Madonna della Pace [The President Scoppetta or the Madonna of Peace Society], printed at the author’s expense, is a series of comical/satirical vignettes of Italian American customs, dedicated to Eduardo Migliaccio (Farfariello) and clearly inspired by his satirical works.

This is not exactly a work of art. The official events represented were taken from reports that appeared in the Opinione,[7] a Philadelphia newspaper. The humor is too facile and obvious and the narration has no depth. In Seneca’s pamphlets the members of this fictional society fight with each other; beat each other up; stab one another; maneuver to steal each other’s official position; deliver ungrammatical speeches similar to those in the Commedia dell’arte and so forth. The goal is to induce laughter through verbal misunderstandings. The characters all are immigrants from the town of Brigantello [Little Brigandville] in southern Italy who settled in one of the major cities of the Union. The main character is Francesco Saverio Scoppetta, founder of the newspaper La Calzetta d’Italia[8] and owner of a passage agency. What kind of passages these were, it’s left vague, although, some claimed it was the passage that money made from other people’s pockets to his own. Obviously these people were mean spirited and were spreading gossips that the president had a rather dubious past, and that he had to flee his hometown to avoid being arrested by the authorities. In any case, he now was one of the richest members of the community and a very powerful politiscia [politician]. Of average stature, stocky; with small and lively eyes; a red and fleshy nose and thick moustache, he gave the impression of being smart and funny. This was Scoppetta. He would be everywhere and take care of everything by himself. Scoppetta here and Scoppetta there. He knew what wedding would take place even before the spouses themselves knew they were getting married. And there would be no shoot-out before he had determined who was going to be shot. He was much, much more involved than a Rossini’s factotum.[9] His enemies had their work cut off for them in trying to denigrate him! Scoppetta was highly aware of the great services he had rendered to his fellow paesani and of the credit he had accumulated with the entire colony. “I, I” he used to say, “I startated (started) Italianism and analphabetism in this nationality.” [“Io ho startato l’italianismo e l’analfabetismo in questa nazionalità.”]

Among the society’s activities there are picchinicchi [picnics], banquets and weddings; schemes for a cavaliere[10]medal; rivalries among groups; patriotic parades; members’ funerals… In short, every imaginable occasion for mooching food; making bombastic speeches; engaging in conflicts of vanity and interests; showing off recently acquired wealth that were—and still arethe raison d’être of Italian American associations.

Even with the exaggerations of caricature, President Scoppetta reflects the conditions of the community that existed, more or less with identical characteristics, in stagnant immigration centers on the outskirts of large American metropolitan centers. The sharp-eyed observation on the part of a few educated individuals marked a conscious distance between the urban class and the peasants who had just undergone the process of urbanization. This is a distinction that is as old as Italian literature. Pretty similar is the inspiration (to use a term adopted by our local Italian poets) of Dante’s Adventures in America,[11] by V.A. Castellucci, clearly the pseudonym of an author who could not use his name. I picked up some clues that lead me to believe it must be a Florentine, probably a priest. In one of his satirical poem, the protagonist, Virgilio F. Publius,[12] a colonist—that is a cafone—trudges through vernacular insecurities by mixing together languages and creating some kind of Italian American vocabulary.

Virgilio came to America before Dante and when the latter arrives, he welcomes him with his horrendous language:

 

Finalmente Dante, ti hai diciso di[13] approdare su queste sciore sarpando l’Attellante con la stessa stima che trasportò maiselfe lazz taim ego. L’appinessa di questo momento mi fa dimenticare evritinga: dimenticar persino la deprescion, il ripillo del diocettisimo mandamento e la vittoria di La Guardia…

 

[Finally, Dante, you decided to land on these shores sailing the Atlantic with the same steamer that carried myself lots of time ago. The happiness of this moment makes me forget everything: I even forget the depression, the repeal of the Eighteenth amendment[14] and La Guardia’s victory…]

 

This language is way overdone, too heavy-handed, and doesn’t have the plebeian mocking value of popular songs. Here one can hear an educated person from a small town imagining how the cafoni speak Dante’s language. Even the dialect words aren’t real: they are artificial, created for comic effect like in Pig Latin. I can’t imagine any immigrant ever using the word gretti for great or sciore for beach. The theme, however, is similar to that of the other examples I mentioned.


 

[1] Achille Almerini (1881-1947).

[2] Here giuda stands for Jew. Giuda in Italian refers commonly to Judas Iscariot, the apostle who betrayed Jesus. The assonance between jew and Giuda makes the two terms almost interchangeable. It also sounds very similar to giudeo, which was the common term for Jewish and Jew throughout the nineteenth century. The fact that this term is still used by the author signals scorn and contempt.

[3] Implying “Why don’t Italians wash?”

[4] As explained in a previous footnote, in this poem the author uses the much stronger giuda instead of giudeo/giudei.

[5] Pasquale Seneca (1890-1952). Professor at the University of Pennsylvania, Philadelpia, Pa.

[6] Scoppetta is Sicilian for double-barrel shotgun.

[7] L'Opinione. (1906-1935). Philadelphia, PA.

[8] Pun. Calzetta plays on the phonetic similarity with Gazzetta (Gazette.) Calzetta in standard Italian means ankle sock. The expression una mezza calzetta (half a sock) is used to indicate a person of little consequence, worthy or little or no consideration.

[9] Reference to Gioacchino Rossini’s character of Figaro in the opera Il barbiere di Siviglia. Factotum is Latin for “Jack-of-All-Trades.”

[10] Cavaliere literally means knight. It is an official title bestowed by the Italian government on individuals who have distinguished themselves in their fields of endeavor. The title is given both to Italians and foreigners and it is highly coveted especially abroad among descendants of Italian immigrants where it is a rarity.

[11] Castellucci, V. A. Le avventure di Dante in America; poemetto satirico umoristico.  New York, Italian Publishers, 1935.

[12] The reference is to Publius Vergilius Maro, the Ancient Rome’s poet author of the Aeneid, and Dante’s guide through the Inferno.

[13] Substandard Italian for ti sei deciso a.

[14] The Eighteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution prohibited the manufacture, sale, transport, import, or export of alcoholic beverages. (It is not generally well known that the amendment did not prohibit the purchase or consumption of alcohol.)