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A SMARTO EDITOR
Era
smarto il dabben uomo,
And he didn’t go to college.]
I couldn’t find the original text of the lecture given by Fortune Pope at the International University of Social Studies[2] on the occasion of the official inauguration of the Chair of Journalism. He was preceded by a speech titled “Italy’s New Social Structure” given by the Italian minister Antonio Segni.[3] In the course of the ceremony Pope received an honorary degree and a gold medal from the university. I was only able to get a summary of a conversation he had with some students after the lecture. These curious young people wanted to find out more about the Progresso Italo-Americano and they asked if they could interview the speaker, as is common place in America. Here is the dialogue
that
ensued. Student: Is it true that you have modified the Italian language used in your newspaper? Pope: Of course, otherwise nobody would be able to understand it. A newspaper cannot reach out only to people who know the language or those who teach it. These were aristocratic ideas of the Fathers of Italian Risorgimento. We had to confront the real issues. I am going to tell you the story of what really happened to a naive and clueless Italian who wanted to rent out his house. He placed a paid announcement in the newspaper with a text that sounded something like this: “For rent, masonry-built house, no heat, no super, long-term commitment, next to elevated railroad.” He got no inquiries. After several tries, this clueless Italian went to the person in charge of classified ads to complain. The employee took a look and as soon as he finished reading he broke out laughing. “But of course” he said, “how can you think you can find anyone with this thing? Let me take care of it for you.” So, he edited the texts as follows: “For rent house of bricchi [bricks (formal Italian: jugs)], no stima [steam (formal Italian: estimate, respect)], no genitore [janitor (formal Italian: parent)], long lista [lease (formal Italian: list)], next to olivetta [elevated railroad (formal Italian: small olive)]. The next day the house was gone. Student: Did you make other changes besides including the jargon of Italian Americans? Pope: Of course. Our newspaper is in Italian but we are trying to bring the language closer to the American language, that is, the language spoken by the majority of our readers. Student: Can you give us some examples? Pope: Sure. This is where you can see the fruits of our technique. Standard Italian says rivolgere un invito: we say estendere un invito [extend an invitation]. We don’t write stupro for rape; for us it is assalto [military-style assault]. We use Casa Comunale [Town Hall] instead of municipio; corte [court] not tribunale; confrontare [to compare] instead of affrontare [to face]. In our neighborhoods even Jesus speaks like us. In our language he teaches: “Date ai poveri le vostre possessioni” [“Give your possessions to the poor”] instead of “quello che avete” [“what you have”]. Don’t you think this is a great innovation? If I donated 100,000 dollars to the Accademia della Crusca[4] to complete its dictionary project, it would certainly include me among the authors quoted with reverence by the institution. Student: Say, do your innovations also include grammar and syntax? Pope: Our readers don’t really care much. Does it really matter if the singular word vaglia [postal money order] does not change in the plural and remains simply vaglia? We turn the plural into vagli, which is the inexistent form of the inexistent singular vaglio. Calling it an error is sophistry. Do you think anybody noticed that we announced that the book Tractatus de instructione confessorum[5] [Treatise on the Training of Confessors] is a ”theology treatise?” A bit of latinorum[6] gives us a good reputation even if we can’t translate it. Some times we give ourselves a bit more latitude. For instance: we cannot allow the verb partorire [to deliver a child] to use the auxiliary verb avere. Therefore we say: “La signora è partorita” [the lady is delivered] instead of ha partorito [has delivered].[7] For us the board of education fa noto i nomi [communicates the names; in correct Italian: rende noti i nomi] of the teachers suspected of being Communist Party members. Student: Supposedly, you take a similar approach to other foreign languages as well. Pope: Well, since we don’t speak any, we rely on our fact-checker in chief. He is also in charge of the creative order of our spellatura[8] [spelling; in standard Italian spellatura means skinning or flaying], or, as you say in Italian, ortografia [orthography]. It looks good when you see in print words like Gesammelle Reuden [correct spelling: Gesammelte Rüden], a book by a respected prelate. The Library of Congress most likely must believe it is a totally new book.
Student:
Did you also have a chance to change history or geography? Student: This is really something. It is good that you finally introduced to Italy—that has such lousy newspapers—a renovated Italian language full of sharp and subtle innovations. And you also gave us the opportunity to learn it in your very publication. Pope: This is nothing! Did you know I elevated Giotto’s[16] fame by announcing that in Pomposa[17] some experts found a lost canvas[18] of his work? Isn’t this a true revolution in the history of painting? In comparison this is going to blow away the studies of [Giovanni Battista] Cavalcaselle,[19] Bernard Berenson,[20] Emilio Cecchi,[21] Mario Salmi,[22] Roberto Longhi…[23] But this is not all. I even invented the modern technique of journalism-as-riddle. People believe we print so many errors and outlandish stuff because we are slovenly scoundrels. Not true. Do you want to know the real secret? We want to sharpen our readers’ minds. For instance, recently we published this news item, with no supporting context. We placed it In the middle of the paper, without particular emphasis, with the headline “Meeting between Dino Grandi[24] and István Bethlen”[25] we
published
the following article: The Italian minister of foreign affairs arrived today in Hungary from Poland. He was given a warm welcome by the local authorities, the population and the Italian colony. Minister Grandi immediately went to visit the Hungarian minister of foreign affairs Bethlen. They examined a series of issues concerning Italian-Hungarian relations and the problems that are presently destabilizing eastern Europe. After the conversation the
ministers
declared their satisfaction at the progress made. Undoubtedly some of our readers must have been delighted. For us, instead, it was just sheer joy to realize that nobody caught on to our practical joke. At the top, above the headline, we didn’t add the warning that this event took place thirty years ago. For a newspaper editor the best insurance against mistakes is that his readers will never be able to call him to task. When one realizes this, believe me, it inspires great confidence. At times we do the same with statistics we receive from Italy. They are totally useless. Just imagine: we once published an item stating that on such-and-such a day the port of Brindisi[26] had a total traffic of 600,000 passengers. I made Brindisi the first port in the world. Not even New York can compete with it. And, no need for corrections. This also is part of the journalistic technique I am teaching you now. A well made newspaper never admits its errors. Not only. Its readers should never become suspicious. I gave you examples that prove that it is possible to publish anything without consequences. For instance we wrote both that “Italy’s southern regions have the highest suicide rate” and that “Italy’s southern regions have the lowest suicide rate.” You, Italian youngsters, should learn from those of us who live on the other side of the ocean that you can do anything you want. And if you do that, not only will you make money, but you will be asked to teach, and you will even be supported by the prestigious presence of the prime minister. Here are our recommendations for the new generations of Italians: follow the example of the journalists from the other side of the ocean; move the Italian language to tears; shake up syntax; correct history, orthography, data and dates. If you do so, you will receive praise by the new Italy, the new Italy born in the name of democracy…. [I could go on, if anybody wished.]
New York, November 25, 1955 [1] Colleggio. Misspelling for collegio. In standard Italian it properly means boarding school. In Italian American it has the same meaning as in English. [2] Our research on institutions with this name yielded no results. [3] Antonio Segni (1891-1972). He was prime minister in two occasions and president of Italy from 1962 to 1964 when he resigned after a stroke. [4] Accademia della Crusca [Academy of Bran]. The oldest academy of linguistics in the world, founded around 1570 by Florentine scholars, philologists and writers. It is the most authoritative, albeit non-official, arbiter of proper Italian language. [5] Antoninus Archiepiscopus Florentinus. Tractatus de instructione seu directione simplicium confessorum. Köln, Zell, ca. 1468-1470. [6] The reference to a famous episode in Manzoni’s I promessi sposi. The illiterate protagonist, Renzo, argues with the priest don Abbondio, complaining that he uses latinorum to confuse and deceive. Latinorum is pig-Latin for Latin. [7] The incorrect use of the auxiliary verbs (essere and avere) in compound tenses is an immediate marker of lack of proper education and is highly stigmatized. [8] Spellatura in Italian means skinning, flaying. It is the operation to remove the skin (pelle) from an animal. [9] Axel Munthe (1857–949). Swedish psychiatrist and archeologist. A polymath and polyglot, he lived in Italy. [10] Curzio Malaparte (1898–1957). Italian journalist and writer. His real name was Kurt Suckert. Malaparte means “the bad side.” [11] Università di Pavia, founded in 1361. Pavia, near Milan, was the capital of the Longobard kingdom from 568 to 774. [12] Bora is the wind from the north-east that blows toward the Adriatic see, typical of the city of Trieste. [13] Luigi Einaudi ( 1874-1961). Italian politician and economist. He was the first president of the Italian republic from 1948 to 1955. [14] The city of Piacenza is indeed the seat of a branch of the Università Cattolica del Sacro Cuore [Catholic University of the Sacred Heart] with headquarters in Milan. [15] Guido d’Arezzo (991/992– ca 1033). Musicologist. He is considered to be the inventor of modern musical notes and staff notation. [16] Giotto di Bondone (1266/7-1337). Painter and architect, he reintroduced perspective into western painting. His most famous works are the cycles of frescos respectively in the church of San Francis in Assisi and the Scrovegni chapel in Padua. [17] Famous Benedictine abbey in northern Italy whose first traces go back to 874. [18] There are no known paintings on canvas by Giotto. [19] Giovanni Battista Cavalcaselle (1819–1897). Writer and art critic. [20] Bernard Berenson (1865–1959). Art critic and professor. His best known work is The Italian Painters of the Renaissance. New York, Phaidon, 1952. [21] Emilio Cecchi (1884–1966). Art and literary critic. [22] Mario Salmi (1889–1980). Art critic and historian. [23] Roberto Longhi (1890–1970). Art historian. [24] Dino Grandi (1895–1988). Minister of foreign affairs from 1929 to 1932. [25] István Bethlen (1874-1946). Hungarian prime minister from 1921 to 1931. [26] Brindisi. City on the coast of Apulia. The port of Brindisi presently is an active naval passenger traffic hub, with service primarily to Greece. |