A Man of His
Time by Fred Misurella “This is not a war,”
he told everybody before leaving, “it’s a . . . a . . . simply a
transition.” And here he is once again—Roger Larusso—crossing a bridge,
preparing to pass through the doors of a new time zone: another world, maybe,
but more striking than that, as he thinks of it, into another tense. Still he feels the
pull of familiar landmarks. Stream-lined modern-looking buildings, bright
stripes and multi-colored paint peeling, more industrial plants and
factories. And still the same ragout stew of traffic: drivers, cigarettes
stuck to their pouting lower lips, striving to get somewhere, anywhere,
before somebody, anybody, else. Carbon-covered, pock-marked houses of stone
and cement lining the rail tracks and, as they ride in closer to the city,
the same explicit advertisements—feet, thighs, buttocks, and boobs—selling
shoes, soda pop, and cabbage casseroles. Buildings loom, as if lost in the
smog of a time warp, higher, grander on the approach to the circular road and
the ancient gate into the city. He feels nostalgia mixed with the dread of a
country boy coming home. Roger doesn’t
recognize anything specific yet—he lived south, in a humbler neighborhood, in
the 1970s—but as soon as the driver passes the railroad station and begins to
work his way down the grand boulevard, side streets, cafes, even pedestrians,
take on familiar looks and shapes. The cab jerks to a halt at a hotel just
around the corner from the new industrial tower. Roger pays the fare, enters,
salutes the patron, an old
acquaintance, and takes a cup of his fresh coffee while the room is prepared.
Finally, he retreats to the telephone booth behind the breakfast room to
call Katharina. “Yes, who is this?—”
Her son answers, voice cracked and strained yet surprisingly mature. It has
been ten years since Roger last saw the boy. “Jean?” “Yes . . .” “Is your mother—”
After a pause, he adds, “I’d like to talk to Katharina Mouiller.” “Madame Mouiller is
busy at this time. Please, who is this?” He hears impatience
in Jean’s voice, not unusual considering the circumstances, but the edge is
enough to make him hesitate about his name. “An old friend,” he says at last,
“of your father. Roger Larusso.” Jean says nothing.
For a few painful seconds Roger wonders if the boy has forgotten him, or,
worse, hung up. Then he hears him breathe and in an attempt to break through
to a former time says he is sorry about his father’s sudden death. Jean
thanks him, not warmly, promising he will “inform” his mother that Roger
called. He takes the number and address of the hotel and says Katharina will
call back as soon as she is free. “You must
understand,” Jean adds, as if it were an order. “We are very busy at this
time.” “I certainly do
understand. If I can help in any way, just let me know.” Jean says nothing.
They hang up in silence, and after a query to the hotel patron about funeral notices in the daily paper, Roger goes up to
his room to unpack and shower. According to one paper, services for Gilbert
Mouiller will take place that day in the chapel of a private school he
donated money to for years; he will be buried after noon in the Mouiller
family plot in the oldest cemetery of the city. Roger walks toward the
boulevard, finds a cafe, drinks another coffee, and after an hour of reading
papers, leaves to take a cab to the funeral. The school is on a
little side street in the university district, between the main entrance to
the university and the eastern end of a six lane boulevard that transverses
the city. Cars have jammed into every space on the street, with six or seven
of them parked on the sidewalk. He notices several motorcycles, one with a
sidecar, a couple of bicycles, and the hearse, a nineteenth-century wagon
painted black with polished brass lamps, drawn curtains, and a fine black
horse standing before it. The chapel is large
but crowded, and as Roger slips into an empty space on the back wall, he
looks for familiar faces, or at least ones that seem familiar. A respected
Russian writer is there, and a more famous Czech, both friends of Gilbert;
and one or two Yugoslavs who found homes with the Mouillers on first coming
to the West when the wars started. Jean, taller but still very thin, stands
near the closed casket, his face oddly animated and smiling. He leans over a
row of chairs, speaks to a woman whom Roger takes to be Katharina, although
he can not see her clearly, and then playfully slaps the shoulder of a boy
sitting next to her: his brother, Gustave. A bearded,
scholarly-looking man stands at a lectern to the right of the casket, and
before him, taking up two rows of chairs just across from the Mouiller
family, sits a band of seven or eight silent, unsmiling young men, dressed in
leather jackets, with heads shaved and tattooed, or wearing tomahawked, dyed,
rainbow-colored hair. Safety pins, straight pins, along with two or three
clothespins dangle from their ears, noses, and tongues. They move in unison,
heads turning left or right as if by signal, their pale, dark-featured faces
responding to everything gravely despite their clownish dress. The Czech
writer smiles, whispering behind his hand to the Russian and two woman
between them. The speaker begins
his eulogy, his sentences clearly enunciated, his voice expressive, though
with a rough, foreign edge. He refers to Gilbert as “this good man,”
extolling the gifts he gave, the lives he touched and aided, the works begun
and completed, or left unfinished. “This was our country,” he says, “the
best of it—safe haven for all and unmatched, generous grandeur.” Roger can not help
noticing how Jean, his shoulders hunched, continues to look around and smile,
curiously, foolishly, as if he were at a first communion or graduation, while
mother and brother sit beside him, their heads high, intent on the speaker. Across
the aisle from them, the boys, slumped forward, pins shaking as they stretch
and comfort one another, maintain their silence, although occasionally a moan
or a murmur rises from among them. When the speaker finishes, he nods toward
the Mouillers. After a moment’s hesitation Gustave rises, edging past his
mother and brother. Fifteen, small-boned, dark like his father, he stands
behind the lectern with his head barely visible above it. Unfolding a piece
of paper, he begins to read, first uttering in a trembling voice, “My dear,
dear Papa.” Tears stream down his
face. His breath catches, moving the audience, the boys across from the
Mouillers especially, with people sobbing and crying out from time to time
as he speaks. Roger struggles for self-control, concentrating on the others
around him. Gustave, noticeably trembling, struggles too—to check himself and
keep a calm tone as he begins to read what is, apparently, a poem, or a
poetic piece of prose. At times his voice barely rises above a whisper; at others
his words emerge in a nearly full-throated shout. At the end, he lowers his
head, folds the paper and puts it into his pocket. He, Jean, and four other
men, teachers and administrators at the school, watch as three young students
wheel the casket on its gurney toward the exit. They follow. Now Roger sees
Katharina more fully, or what he can make out of her behind a black veil. She
stands beside her boys and, with her head still high, walks toward the back
of the chapel. She says nothing, makes no motion of welcome, but Roger sees
her glance as she passes, even though she does not nod or give a sign of recognition.
Jean smiles, not for Roger but at everyone surrounding him, and looks down at
a video camcord that he carries in his hands. He adjusts the lens, and when
Roger emerges through the doors to stand in the crowd on the chapel steps, he
notices young Jean letting the camcord roll while he points it: toward the
building, the hearse, the casket going into the hearse, the boys in their
leather jackets, tattoos, and multi-colored hairdos who are the last to file
out. The driver climbs
onto the box of the hearse, looks to the sky and, with a practiced snap of
his whip, starts the horse in motion. They move slowly
along the cobble-stoned streets down an ancient lane behind the university,
in front of a grand monument, then across a square toward the cemetery. The
streets are quiet, except for the distant hum of automobiles on the
boulevard, and the only sounds they hear are the clop from the horse’s hooves,
the muffled shuffle of their own shoe leather against stones, and an
occasional sigh or moan from a member of the party. This is one of the
barest, most private quarters in the city, and its effect on the mourners
this day is shattering. Roger watches Katharina and her boys behind the cart,
marveling at her sense of presence, her show of bravery, especially since
Gustave seems to have a hard time remaining erect, and Jean, though not
taping now, still carries the camcord in his hands. They enter the cemetery
from an entrance near the farmers’ market and, crossing in front of civil
guards who stand saluting, they walk to the west side of the grounds and bury
Gilbert not fifty steps from the grave of a famous poet and his hated stepfather,
whose spirits, Gilbert used to tell Roger, will glare at each other and shake
their fists to entertain him for eternity. With the steady hum of traffic
from the nearby market street, it is impossible to hear the words of the man
who eulogizes over the grave. But when Katharina and Jean drop roses on the
coffin and Gustave, sobbing, follows with a copy of the words he has read in
the chapel, the collective sighs of everyone, especially the young men in
leather jackets and pins, seem to drown out everything else. Katharina takes
her boys by the shoulders and draws them close before lowering her arms and,
hands clasped, walking through the cemetery gate without waiting for anyone
else. Her head remains
high, Roger notices. He is not sure how much of that is pose since, when he
finally catches up with her on the old street, she is looking down at her
feet, not responding to anything around her. “Kat . . .
Katharina,” he calls just above a whisper. After two more attempts, he sees
her stop and, just beneath the veil, smile. “Roger Larusso. So
nice to see you. Jean said you had called.” “I’m sorry about
Gilbert,” he mutters. Then, awkwardly, “It was quite a blow.” She nods. Through the
veil Roger sees her hazel eyes still dry, her complexion still ruddy, the
glow on her left cheek just hidden under her hair. She turns to continue up
the cobble-stoned street, and he falls into step beside her, matching her
steady gait (“feet on the ground,” she used to say, “Gilbert is all in
ether”), her square-shouldered, Slavic acceptance of life marking her pace as
well as her posture. “You are taking it
well. How did it happen?” She smiles, folding
her hands, palms touching, fingers straight out as if she were praying. “Ah,
you don’t read the papers, Roger. You never missed before. It’s your
profession.” “Kat—?” She waves. “He died
in an accident—a bomb, placed in a trash container near the Metro. It went
off as we walked by.” “Christ, I’m sorry. I
read about some bombing, but I didn’t know he . . . And you were with him?
How—?” She shakes her head.
“It barely touched us. He lunged into the street to protect me and was run
over by a truck. A laundry truck. He died on the way to the hospital. I never
saw him alive again.” She grins, oddly.
Roger notices the strong resemblance to Jean. “Another horrible
political bombing! What a waste!” Katharina shrugs.
“Who knows? Our times.” Roger says nothing,
shakes his head. They walk up the street, aware of others catching up, then
passing by. They remain silent, Katharina occasionally greeting or being
greeted by others in a more or less formal manner. Back at the school, she
stands inside the doors to the chapel and, without lifting her veil, receives
people in front of a stand of lilies and a table of light refreshments set
in the vestibule. Roger leaves her there when Jean and Gustave enter,
retreating to a corner to sit and balance a cup of coffee on his knee.
Gustave stands near his mother, dark suit, white shirt and grave manner
creating the appearance of a little Gilbert. Jean, with his tie loosened now,
walks around the room with the camcord at his shoulder filming everything. The Czech and the
Russian smile and turn away as he approaches them. The boys in leather,
metal, and wood whisper as they pass in front of the camcord. Then, with
their hands splayed and twitching hungrily, they arrange themselves at a
table and gather platefuls of little sandwiches that they bring into the
corner near Roger. Loud, clumsy, unbelievably crude, they sit along the wall,
talking to each other and to bystanders while their ugly, blue-headed leader,
his face pitted with acne scars and pimples, attempts a conversation with
Roger. “Not bad for
Gilbert,” he says, appraising the surroundings. “How did you know him?” “Work. And through
some of his political—” Roger searches for the word in the young man’s
language—“Conferences.” Finally, he adds, emphasizing the English,
“Meetings.” “Ah, you are
British!” “American,” Roger
says. The skin-head nods,
smiling, looking Roger over as if he knows everything now. Sticking out his
tongue (with a green rhinestone in it) he adds, “Gilbert loved you Americans—loved you—the old bastard.” He begins to talk
about popular music—Madonna, Michael Jackson, Bon Jovi, Guns ’n’ Roses, Pearl
Jam. Roger tries to respond knowledgeably, but the boy quickly senses that
none of those artists make this American’s kind of sound. “You like Elvis,” he
says at last, appraising Roger’s age. “Gilbert adored Elvis. And Tony
Bennett.” Roger laughs.
“Gilbert’s taste was more eclectic than mine. I stopped liking Elvis when I—
When I left back there the first time. And I hardly listen to Tony Bennett—or
even Sinatra.” “Dylan! You like
Dylan! I know it!” The young man smiles,
swallowing half a sandwich with a gape-toothed grin. The rhinestone flashes
in and out of bread crust, cheese, and meat. He turns and murmurs to his
friends, his words fast, his flushed, melon-like head blocking his lips so
Roger can not understand. Whatever the boy says, his friends stare at Roger,
their mouths wide, their tongues an accumulated showcase of cheap stones and
metal. Still, to them, he has done some odd, even shameful, thing. “I don’t like popular
music at all,” he announces, a boy again, somehow, lost in a foreign land. “I
like serious music: Bach, Beethoven—Stravinsky.” “Pah!—What are you,
snob?” The leader with the
tattooed head grins and pops another sandwich, whole, into his mouth. When a
second boy with pink, green, and orange feathers woven through his crewcut
hair leans in his direction, Roger raises his hand. “Gilbert taught me
the classics, you know. Through him I learned to like them all. He played
them on the piano for me. As illustration.” “What—Gilbert,
playing? Since when—” Roger nods—truly
snobbish, he hopes. “He had many talents, and he loved to play good music,
especially modern.” “What? That old . . .
Gilbert? He never—” They lean forward in
disbelief. The seven of them (Roger counts now that they surround him so
closely) stare almost as if they are angry. “He liked all kinds of music,”
Roger says. “That was one of his charms. He liked jazz, classical,
rock’n’roll. He was that way with everything—open.” The leader, a tear
breaking loose now, clenches his fist and shakes it. An engorged penis,
tattooed in red and black, shimmers across his knuckles. “That was a man,” he
says. “A real . . . We’ll never see another like him!” His friends raise
their fists and shout in unison: “Gilbert!”
Roger smiles but,
embarrassed now that people are obviously staring at them, decides to leave
his seat. He looks across the room, pretending to see someone he needs to
talk with. Rising, he notices Jean pointing the camcord toward them, and as
he makes his way back toward the table of flowers, he covers his face. Jean
tracks him from the tattooed head and the boy with the feathers until he
reaches Katharina. “Please, put that
away! Show some respect for your poor, dear father,” Roger says, firmly. Jean grimaces,
letting the camcord drop to his side like a weapon he wants to hide—or keep
ready. But then he grins, blushing foolishly, and, looking at the crowd
surrounding them, nods as if he has made a significant point. “Jean, please,”
Katharina says. “Mr. Larusso is right. This is not a celebration. Put the
camera away.” He raises it,
pointing the lens at Katharina and Roger and letting the tape role. “Maman,” he says. “Smile. Show us how
pretty you are.” “No, no,” Gustave
says, raising his hand to cover the lens. “Don’t be cruel, Jean. Be nice—for
Papa’s sake.” Jean pulls the
camcord back, aims it for a moment at his brother, and then, silent, stalks
away. Gustave blushes, lowering his head. Katharina looks at Roger, sighing.
“He will not accept it,” she says. “He is stubborn. He will not see that
things have changed.” Gustave arrives with
another cup of coffee, kisses her veiled cheek, and walks off to find his
brother. An uneasy moment passes while Katharina shifts on her feet and,
sighing, sips her coffee. She wants to talk, Roger is sure, yet she also
wants to be correct with the rest of the guests, some of whom, a group of
Croats and Poles, stop to pay their respects before leaving, others of whom
simply hope to learn more about Gilbert’s final moments or discuss
Katharina’s future plans. Gilbert’s brother, Henri, fat, amiably crude, one
glass eye impervious to the smoke curling from a cigarette between his
swollen, bleeding lips, clutches her elbow from behind and turns her toward a
group of three elderly men—gray, short, bearing unmistakably the stamp of the
Mouiller family frame—comical despite their mourning clothes. “Our cousins,” Henri
says, “Michel, Richard, Bertrand. I believe you have never met them.” They bow, bumping
into themselves, their toes clownishly catching under one another’s heels.
They have always avoided Gilbert, Roger knows, but Katharina, oblivious, shakes
each of their hands and says—a lie, he is sure—that Gilbert spoke of them
often. After she introduces them to Roger, they bow, expressing condolences
and, with Henri, wander off to find Gustave and Jean. Katharina barely gets
out: “Oh, he is impossible! Did you smell?” Roger nods, still sniffing the
mixture of sweat, tobacco, and must that fades as Henri waddles away. “I
can’t stand to be near him,” she says, “much less touched.” Katharina brushes the
sleeve of her dress and looks at the floor in disgust. “He’s trying to do
the right thing, as a brother. And as an uncle. It’s all he can do.” She laughs. “He
doesn’t know the right thing. He doesn’t care. Gilbert always said Henri was
selfish, and he’s proved it hundreds of times. The cousins, too.” “Well . . .” She nods, lowering
her voice. “I shouldn’t expect anything better. Gilbert was different. You
know; he grew.” Roger looks away.
“Best not to worry about those things now,” he tells her. Her head sinks. He
can almost see her lose color beneath the veil. Her chin trembles. “Oh, Ruggero mio, I don’t know what to do.
I feel . . . I feel so . . .” She stops. Her head
shakes as she stares at his feet. Self-consciously, he takes her arm and
leads her to a chair in the corner behind the flowers. Katharina has not sat
since leaving the chapel, and now her body sinks wearily into the chair.
Roger freshens her cup with some coffee, and then sits beside her. He tries
to get her to remove her hat, at least to lift the veil above her eyes. She
refuses; she wants to do the right thing by Gilbert, she says, and that
means retaining the widow’s appearance. “He was so sad,” she
says, “so small when they put him into the ambulance.” She straightens her
back, sips her coffee, and again stands to talk to people surrounding the
table. Henri returns with the three cousins, and soon Gustave and Jean
arrive, Jean noticeably without his camcord. The seven talk together, with
guests, most of whom seem to know Henri rather than Katharina, occasionally
breaking into their conversation. Even the young men in leather and pictures
stop to talk for a few minutes while making a slow, boisterous exit, passing
in front of Roger and raising their fists as they leave. “Take care, American!
Remember Elvis!” People look from them
to him and laugh. He blushes, turning away in anger and saying nothing. His
shame persists, and soon he begins to grow restless among the crowd around
Katharina. Finally, Roger taps her on the shoulder, excusing himself by saying
he has some business across the city. But as he leaves the chapel, turning
toward the cathedral steeples for a nostalgic walk along the banks of the
river, he hears a voice and turns to see Katharina, on the steps, running
toward him. “Here,” she says, “I
want to give you this.” She hands him an
envelope with a photograph in it. He opens it and sees Gilbert: Smiling, his
glasses glinting above his thick, dark lips, he pushes back a wisp of
thinning hair. Behind him, on motorcycles, sit the seven young men in leather
and, among them, Katharina, and another man, an American, Carl Becker, whose
grim smile makes him look like an unwilling participant. “Gilbert and his
brats,” Katharina says, not smiling. “His two favorites among them.” Roger looks away. “And did you know
Carl Becker is ill?” He nods. “I heard as
I was leaving. I’ll visit him just before I cross into Sarajevo and beyond.” “That disease.
Everyone’s susceptible now.” She takes Roger’s
hand and stops. When a motorcycle engine begins to roar, she pulls him into a
little courtyard beside the chapel. In a corner, behind the statue of a
bearded, long-robed prelate, she puts her hand on his shoulder, lifts her
veil, and kisses him, passionately, on the mouth. “Is it still there,”
she asks, at last, “still—?” “What?” “Don’t play with me, Ruggero mio. You know.” Katharina
takes off her hat and, pulling aside a thick portion of her chestnut hair,
thrusts her right cheek toward him. A large, liver-colored spot, a birthmark
shaped something like a ginkgo leaf, splays from her ear along her cheek and
jawbones, almost to her lips. He draws his breath. “Is it—God’s tattoo,
as Gilbert called it?” He says nothing.
Beyond the wall, the roar of four, five, then six motorcycles booms off the
buildings, rattles windows, shakes the bearded prelate standing to their
left. Through the courtyard gate, Roger sees Jean, camcord at his shoulder
again, taping his father’s brats as they, circling from somewhere beyond the
chapel, lower their heads and speed down the street. “Is it? Don’t play
with me, Roger. Is the mark still there?” She nudges him. “You know it is,
Katharina.” “Then you don’t love
me,” she tells him, replacing her hat and pulling down her veil. Mysterious again, she
hesitates before walking through the gate. “Kat—Katharina, we .
. .” She waves, turning
back toward the chapel as Roger searches for words. “God wills it,” she
calls, smiling. “I came to this country with clothes on my back and this on
my face. Nothing else. Gilbert loved me. Now I will be buried here with
him—and it, too.” He clutches the
photograph, silent, staring after her. He lowers his hands as Jean, crying
out and stepping around the cement column of the statue, approaches. The
camcord at his shoulder, whirring. |