Lifeand fiction are filled with ironies, as in the following "true
news stories" which have been circulating on the Internet since the
spring of 1998....
1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of
the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild
amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both
eaten by a killer whale.
2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room
to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions.
After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an
axe, leaving her mentally retarded.
3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on
the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu, he came down
eight hours short of the 400-day record, to find that his sponsor had
gone bankrupt, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and
electricity had been cut off.
4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen,
shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist
towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly
current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door,
breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily
listening to his Walkman.
5. Two animal rights activists were protesting the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two
thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded,
trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
6. Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on
a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it.
Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.